If you’ve poured energy into discipleship pathways, courses, programs, step-by-step plans, and they haven’t produced the growth you expected, I want you to hear this clearly: stop.

The pathway model is brilliant for some things. But when you use it for discipleship, it often sets you up for frustration and creates busywork instead of real spiritual formation.

The good news? There’s a simpler, more effective approach.

In this post, I’ll show you exactly where pathways work brilliantly (assimilating new people), where they fail (forming disciples), and the “rows and circles” rhythm that actually moves people toward Christ. Most importantly, you’ll walk away with clarity and the courage to shift your model before you invest another year in the wrong thing.

Remember: nothing changes if nothing changes. So let’s change the approach.

Key Takeaways

Pathways are essential for assimilation (helping new people navigate into your church), not for discipleship formation.
The “course-based trap” treats discipleship like a checklist and people complete the program and feel “done,” but transformation hasn’t happened.
Discipleship is chaotic and non-linear: different people have different needs, life stages, and crises that no single pathway can address.
The solution: Rows and Circles. Sunday services (rows) for corporate formation, small groups (circles) for relational, vulnerable discipleship.
You can still use pathways for specific, stage-appropriate needs (leader training, couples, parenting) just don’t confuse that with “discipleship.”

Clarity is the accelerator, confusion is the brake

Let’s start with what pathways do well: they help new people navigate into your church.

Think from the perspective of a visitor. They’re trying to find their way to the heart of your community—to belonging, involvement, and walking with Christ. That’s a big journey, and it can be confusing.

When confusion wins, people hesitate, step back, and eventually disconnect. But when clarity wins, they move in the right direction faster. They assimilate and integrate quicker.

Here’s the principle: clarity is the accelerator, confusion is the brake.

That’s why pathways work brilliantly for assimilation. They remove the mystery. New people know what happens next, and they move forward with confidence.

The 2-step assimilation framework that actually works

If pathways work for assimilation, what does that look like in practice?

I use a two-step framework:

Step 1: Meet the Pastor Event

This can be formal (two or three times per year, bringing new people together) or informal (one-on-one, couple-by-couple, small group). The goal is simple:

Answer their questions
Explain the church’s values and vision
Make them feel welcome and known

Don’t overthink this. “Churches are like t-shirts—we need all sizes.” Do what fits your context.

Step 2: Sign-Up

This is more structured. You gather people for an in-depth conversation about who you are as a church, your mission, and what you’re trying to achieve. Then you invite them to sign up for serving and a small group (or one of them).

This is where the assimilation pathway does its job: clarity leads to participation, and participation leads to belonging.

Why generic discipleship pathways create frustration

Now here’s where most churches get stuck.

Discipleship is chaotic. There’s no single clear pathway that works for everyone because people have wildly different needs.

Think about this:

A 15-year-old on fire for Jesus with a new study Bible
A young mum with two toddlers and no time for yourself
A businesswoman running a startup trying to gain traction
A pensioner navigating life changes
An engaged couple planning a future

Their discipleship needs are completely different. The struggles your grandson faces are not the struggles your businesswoman leader faces.

When you make discipleship pathways too generic, they end up looking like course-based programs. And the message becomes: “Do these courses, then you’re discipled.”

But that’s not how transformation works. People don’t graduate from discipleship. They live it.

If you think a bundle of courses equals discipleship, you’re going to end up deeply frustrated—and so will your leaders.

Drawing on over four decades of pastoral ministry and consulting, John equips you to create Sunday services where people encounter Christ and take meaningful next steps in their faith. Includes adaptation section for small churches PLUS a 90 day action plan for all size churches. Read or listen. On Amazon now or Listen on Spotify

Where pathways can still help (the “little bit of yes”)

I don’t think all discipleship pathways are bad. Here’s the guardrail:

You can create pathways for specific needs and life stages.

Examples:

Training small group leaders and refreshing your small group structure
Developing departmental leaders from your volunteer pool
Engaged couples
Parenting and marriage relationships
Business/startup discipleship

But the mindset shift is critical. You’re not saying, “Do this course, then you’re discipled.” You’re saying, “This stage of life has a specific challenge. Here’s a pathway designed for that challenge.”

Roads and pathways are the same thing; they’re routes to move people forward. The question is: what destination are you building toward, and does the route match the goal?

What you want to avoid is the culture of “we’ve got a course for that.” Discipleship is far more chaotic and non-linear than that. And if you’re an organized, structured person (like I am), embracing that chaos can “do your head in.” But it’s the reality of making disciples.

The “rows and circles” model forming disciples

So what’s the solution?

Put people in rows and circles.

Rows = Weekend Service

People are sitting together, looking toward the front. They’re singing, connecting with Jesus, hearing God’s Word, responding to the message. There’s community here, but it tends to be shallow and less personal.

Circles = Small Groups

People face one another. It’s transparent, vulnerable, relational. This is where real discipleship happens—in homes, cafes, church buildings, wherever people can sit face-to-face and share life.

Here’s what I see most churches doing: they already have both rows and circles. The gap isn’t the model—it’s the intentionality.

Ask yourself: When we put people in rows and circles, how are we actually discipling them in the midst of the chaos and mess? How do we create opportunities—especially in circles—for different age groups, life stages, crisis needs, and developmental needs?

That’s where the real work happens.

Next steps: Less busywork, more formation

If you want less headaches and heartaches, here’s what to do next week:

Audit your current “discipleship pathway”
- Where does it look like a course checklist?
- Where does it fail to match real life stages?
Protect assimilation (keep your 2-step framework)
- Meet the pastor event + sign-up. That’s it. That’s the clarity people need.
Re-center discipleship in circles
- Ask: Are your small groups creating transparent, vulnerable relationships? Or are they just another meeting?
Build stage-appropriate pathways (not generic bundles)
- Use pathways only where they match a specific need or life stage.
Start moving immediately
- Pick one change this week. Don’t wait for the “perfect plan.”

Your church has more potential than you’re seeing right now. Move past roadblocks with fresh courage and clarity. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are discipleship pathways ever helpful?

Yes—when they’re designed for specific needs and life stages (leader training, couples, parenting). The danger is the mindset of “course completion equals discipleship.”

What did “rows and circles” mean?

Rows are your weekend service (teaching, worship, corporate response). Circles are small groups (face-to-face, transparent, relational). Both are needed; both require intentionality.

Why do pastors feel frustrated with discipleship pathways?

Generic, course-like pathways treat spiritual growth like a checklist. Discipleship is chaotic, relational, and shaped by real life seasons. Checklists can’t capture that.

What should we keep pathways for?

Assimilation. Help new people navigate into the church clearly. That clarity works. Everything after that needs to be relational and responsive.

How do we know if our small groups are doing discipleship right?

Ask: Are people transparent and vulnerable? Are they sharing real struggles and supporting one another? Are they growing in Christ? If yes, that’s discipleship.

What’s the simplest change we can make right now?

Stop measuring discipleship by course completion. Start asking: “How are we creating intentional circles where real formation can happen?” Then do one thing this week to deepen that circle.